The Crow
by Staticgirl
Summary: Roy goes against a crow and some how has diffaculties. (Updated! Chapter 2 is now here!. Fear the crow)
1. The crow

**Disclaimers note: I do not own FMA or any of its characters, besides this crow.. I guess. If I ever would happen to inherit FMA I would die before I make a second sequel. Enjoy this fanfiction.. . **

**The Crow**

**The Day was quiet as the bright sunlight peered in through the freshly cleaned window. The room filled with fresh air as Roy opened the window fully, looking down to the street. Few cars were passing by, people were just starting to crowd the sidewalks and some of the street. The door opened with a irritating creek as Riza stepped in, a stack of paperwork in her hand. She smiled slamming the stack on the desk on accident.**

**Riza- "Opps, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to slam it. Good Morning Roy, I give you the best of luck with today and hope you find new information for us."**

**Roy lightly nodded as he sat down grabbing a piece of paper and starting to mark it with his black inked pen. Roy sighs a bit. He looked up to a spot on the wall and started to imagine. As he day dreamed he didn't seem to notice a Black shadow like creature fly into the room. Gold eyes stared at Roy curiously. Roy smiled a bit as he continued to daydream. His hand moving slightly as he began to doodle on the paperwork he was currently suppose to be doing. Roy drooled a bit as he suddenly snapped out of it screaming seeing his doodles and sighs wiping away the drool. Knowing that Riza is going to kill him for doodling again on the paperwork he whimpered. A slight noises as if someone had a bad cough and was saying caw. It came from the corner, Roy screamed like a little girl.**

**Roy- "What the hell was that? It sounded like a fucking crow."**

**Roy looked closely in the corner seeing it was a crow. He sighed standing up and walking until he was about 10ft away from the bird. The bird turned its head slightly cawing again still peering at Roy curiously. Roy growled a bit and lifted his hand starting to snap his fingers. A bright flame emitted from his fingers and missed the bird as it dashed out of the way.**

**Roy- "Damn you, hold still so I can burn your ass up into my lunch"**

**Roy snapped his finger again, singing the tail of the crow. The crow tried the window and failed hitting the glass. It quickly sprang up trying the open window as he excepted. Roy snapped his finger one last time trying to burn the bird and failed. He sighed sitting back down just as Riza opened the door**

**Riza- "what the hell were you trying to kill a crow for?"**

**Roy- "I hate birds."**

**Riza growled a bit taking out her gun starting to shoot at Roy's feet. Roy jumped up running and jumping down the hallway**

**Roy- "Riza- Ow! Ah! Heeeeellpp Meee!"**


	2. Return of the crow

Disclaimers note: I do not own FMA or any of the characters besides the snippy little crow.

Return of the Crow

Roy slams the door, the bottoms of his pant were torn into little shreds and salty clear sweat ran down his face. His hair messed up, and his breathing slowing down as he sat in his chair. He hadn't gotten any sleep for Riza was chasing him half the night. Roy sighed and set his head down on the table

Roy: "I really need coffee right now. If I were furher right now, The girls in miniskirts would cheer me up so much right now. Their nice smooth legs I see everyday. But still, I'm not to that point yet."

Roy slowly sat up from his chair walking over to the tabling in the corner starting to make coffee. He waited until there was enough to make a nice hot cup of coffee. He poured himself a cup and set the cup down on his desk. He opened the window taking in a nice deep breath of fresh air. He smiled as the sun was already starting to rise into the sky. The clouds were turning a beautiful orange and yellow color. It reminded him of his family. He sat down relaxing taking sips at a time from his coffee cup. A black faint black shadow swiftly crawled across the room. Roy sighed and set his cup down, looking at his desk seeing if anything had to be done today. Even though he finished his paperwork the other night he couldn't help but feel he needed to do something. Just then a caw came from the corner of the room and Roy jumped falling out of his chair knocking his cup of coffee off the desk and the hot coffee onto his arm. He held in the scream and just grunted. He stood up quickly his eyes glaring at the crow in the corner.

Roy: "Fucking crow…. I'm going to kill you. It ends now!"

He growled and snapped his fingers burning part of its wing feathers. It cawed and charged at Roy swiftly turning right in front of his face. Bad move. Roy snapped his fingers burning more of its tail. The door burst open. Roy screamed and cowered under his desk. A light "Thud" Noise came followed with a choking noise. Roy got up from under his desk seeing the crow stuck to the wall. Dark Gooey blood was running slowly down the wall. A throwing knife was stuck in the wall. He turned to the door where a figure stood. He smiled waving nervously.

Hughes: "Well, takes care of that problem. Why were you hiding under your desk anyway?"

Roy: "Oh, I dropped a pen and had to pick it up"

Hughes: "Is that why you screamed when I opened the door?"

Roy got nervous and decided to change the subject. He could already tell what Hughes was getting at.

Roy: "How did you know the crow was in here?"

Hughes: "The first sign was the thud after a caw."

Roy: "Figures, your ears are too sharp to get away with anything."

Riza walked in with an arm full of paperwork to give other alchemists. She gasps and dropped the paperwork on the floor with a small thud hitting the floor. She frowned at Roy. She saw the black marks on the wall. Roy shrunk down to the ground under the desk taking off his gloves and sucking on his thumb

Riza: "Roy! I though I straightened this out with you."

Hughes: "Riza, I killed the crow. It was attacking Roy."

Riza: "Well fine, I hope it got a good peck or too at him."

Roy let out a sigh of relief and put his gloves back on. Riza smirked and shot a bullet just at the bottom of the desk. The bullet bounces and Roy screams as it rips his shirt. Riza laughs and picks up the paperwork slamming the door behind her. Hughes laughed and poured himself a cup of coffee. Roy sat in his chair.

Roy: "I can't wait until I put her in a mini skirt. I just got to stop screwing up, otherwise I can't ask her on a date!"

Hughes: "You will get there soon enough."

Roy: "Hope so."

TO BE CONTINUED. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Hopefully I can get my brain to work and pull out more jokes.


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